Forgive and Forget

Recently, more like a year and a half ago, I formed a grudge on another girl. And yes, it was over a boy. Don't pre-judge me. I am not usually the grudge-holder type. This was a special exception though. So after having a grudge for the last year or so, I have officially decided that I need to let it go. It has taken me way longer than ever to forgive and forget but I am working on it now. Forgiving people is really important. I have distant relatives that all fought over a piece of land that was left to them and none of the siblings speak anymore. It is a really sad story and it just caused the family to break apart. Being unforgiving only causes a life of regret. So forgive your friends and your enemies. Here are some tips!


Realize the magnitude
One person who has done you wrong is such a small, minuscule, and tiny thing. Is one person really worth all of the fuss? There are so many other important things in your life to worry about. Seriously though, if you are so caught up with this grudge you are holding, you may need to rethink your priorities. The magnitude of this grudge should be microscopic compared to what else is happening in this world.


Decide now
Make a solid decision. Don't be wishy washy or think that you will forgive them only if they're nice to you. Make a decision and stick to it. Don't try and back out half way through the process. Make sure you make a conscious decision. If you need to you can tell a friend or write it down but you don't have to.


Be nice
Nice is such a broad and overused word but it is effective in this case. BE NICE to the person who wronged you. I know it's hard but in order to forgive them you must treat them like a human being, which they are. I know it's hard to believe because to you, they are the scum of the earth. Remember that they are a person with feelings also. I write the word “Nice” on my hand every day to remind me to be nice to people. If it works for me, it can work for you.


It's in the past
Remember that what happened is in the past. It already happened and there is not much you can do about it anymore. If you realize this, it will be a lot easier to forgive. The Amish know how to do this. After a man named Charles Roberts shot five of their children, an amish family immediately forgave him. “They not only used words, but also acts of forgiveness, attending Roberts' funeral and setting aside some of the approximately $4 million they received from well-wishers as a gift for the Roberts family, with a special concern for the shooter's children.” This Amish family forgave him instantly because they knew it was more important to do that than to hold a grudge.

If someone like your room mate or your teacher or your family member does something that has offended you, forgive them. It saves a lot of time and energy and will help you live without regrets.


About the Author
Meagan Hollman is a writer for MyCollegesandCareers.com. My Colleges and Careers helps people determine if an online education is right for them and helps them understand which courses are available through accredited online colleges to help them reach their goals.