Single, Marriage & Ministry....Whoa

You are single and you have never been married, and God has a calling on your life for full time service to Him. You have a zeal for God and you only want a lady that has a zeal like yours to serve God. In essence you want a lady to partner you with a great anointing of God on her life also. This article is written for you. Enjoy reading and if you agree pray the prayer and write a comment on the article.

**TIP 1** Be honest with her and yourself

A lady with an anointing on her life for full time ministry is a person that treasures honesty and she is love with Jesus, someone that NEVER lies to her. A lady needs a husband that can lead her house and be the head, and if you are not up to the task it is best that you don't try and pretend that you are!

You can kid yourself and think that you are a spiritual person, but there were many spiritual people when Jesus walked the earth also, even New Age people are a lot more spiritual then many Christians.

If you are sold out to Jesus and the will of God, then by all means seek the hand of a lady with a calling on her life.

**TIP 2** Be Sold out For God's Will in Your Life

Don't kid yourself or God. To win the heart of a lady called by God, you and her visions for your future should be the same. If God has been calling you to go to Africa for years you should be pursuing that for God. You should not be searching for a lady who also has a calling to Africa on her life.

This is part of being honest with yourself and with her. In some of the very first conversations with a potential lady you should not be afraid of mentioning that God is calling you to Africa.

You should take the lead when you talk about where you are called. You will know the "right" lady when as you mention this, she is quick to tell you that she has also had a calling to go there also.

Paul said it is best that a man does not marry and therefore devote all of his time and resources to God. I agree, many men spend all of their earnings on a wife and family, and these men could have done a lot more for God if they had remained single.

Be prepared to go to Africa without a wife man of God! Do firstly what God wants you to do. Seek first the Kingdom of God and He might bless you with a helpmate.

The Lord God is a jealous God. He would rather you be single then for you to have a wife that hinders you from completely doing the will of God. God does not favor men and women that make an idol out of their partners.

A woman that has been called by God for full time ministry will see this zeal on your life and your passion too serve the King of Kings and this will attract her more then any romantic words spoken by you could!

**TIP 3** Make it clear that you want to serve God first in your marriage

Living in Africa can mean that you don't have the electricity of the West and toasters, jugs, electric blankets and all manner of luxuries of the West. To have a wife with a calling on her life fall in love with you means that you will serve God, no matter how much you have to go without.

Many people don't serve God in their life because the world is so attractive with its high wages and all that they can buy. But to have the servant heart of Jesus you might not be a person that puts much stock in the goods of the world and the life in Africa would not be such a huge cost for serving God for you.

Many women want to serve BOTH God and their families. But a precious women of God with a great calling on her life will care little for the things of the world and the luxury of the West. They will already be the women that Jesus and the Father speak to tenderly and you might find that they are quite old and have been waiting patiently for the man of God that has been promised to them so many years ago.

They won't be married once and wanting to have a second marriage with you.

***Mark 10:11-12 (New International Version)

11He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." No matter what the world says, second marriages are adultery. So the woman called by God won't have been married once and now want to marry you.

No, the women called by God might even be in her forties or older, yet she would have always been waiting for a man of God. A woman called of God would not have settled for a lesser man of God to starve off her loneliness as Jesus would have been her partner for years.

No matter how many gifts a woman of God might have, if she has been married once and her ex husband is still living; she is not the woman for you. You have to be strong and prove you will serve God first and not her want for you.

**TIP 4** Be patient when it comes to God's will in your life.

Many people tend to march ahead of God and move and do things that the Spirit has not asked them to do. Having a website might be a popular thing to have if you are in ministry. But, you must not make a website UNTIL the Spirit of God tells you to move and do that.

Jesus only did what His Father told Him to do through the Holy Spirit. You also need to learn only to move when the Spirit calls you to move.

This may be very important when it comes to asking a lady out on a date. A woman called of God might have noticed you, but she may need more evidence that you are the right sort of guy for her.

If you are interested in a woman with an anointing by God, be patient until the Spirit gives you the go ahead to ask her out.

This applies to nearly all your decisions that you make and most certainly the big decisions. It is vital that you let patience have its perfect work in you. Jesus could have started to preach when he was 14 years of age, but he waited till He was 30 years of age, the minimum age of a Rabbi.

As a man of God, it is a tremendous responsibility to be called by God to serve Him full time and double as much responsibility for you to marry a woman with an anointing by God.

It is vital therefore, that you learn to move as the Spirit of God moves. If revival breaks out, you might want to go and check it out, but you must first consult the Spirit of God, as to if you can, and when you should go.

The Holy Spirit might want you to start another fire at the same time from your own ministry as the same angel that came to the first revival comes over and anoints you.

A woman that has waited many years for the husband that the Lord of Hosts has destined for her does not want to be disappointed with you with you making a financial commitment or some other decision "without" the Holy Spirit giving you the go ahead.

God does some of his greatest works through men and woman of God that have waited twenty or more years for their visions coming into being. There is just such a special anointing reserved for people willing to go through the refiner's fire and storms of life for many years before God raises them up into major ministry.

Only a patient man will win the heart of a very patient woman of God. An anointed woman isn't looking for clever talk; she is looking for well developed fruit in your life. Sure, she may "feel" the anointing when you preach or "feel" the anointing on what you write, but many men have the anointing and lack the fruit to sustain the sort of calling she has on her life.

Can I pray for you:

Father of Lights:

We come to you today and seek Your Will in our life when it comes to marriage. Father give us the patience to seek only your best and to do only Your Will. Lord lead us more and more by You Holy Spirit. Teach us only to move when we see You Moving. Teach us to become leaders and not followers. Lord anoint us to break new ground for you and bring into our life the fruits of the Spirit through the storms of life. Lord give us the wisdom to read and re- read this teaching so that we know what we need to do to win the right anointed woman to be our partner.

Father, anoint us, give us the power to do Your Will, lead us by Your Spirit and keep us learning the things that we need to know to do Your will in our life. Keep us away from distractions and keep us from touching those things that are not pleasing to You. Teach us from every medium we experience, and mentor us through the voice of the Good Shepherd and Teach us the Word of God from the Teacher, the Holy Spirit.

Give us the endurance to weather the storms of life and keep us from sin to the appointed day that we marry the lady for us.

In Jesus name we ask

Amen

If you have prayed the prayer take a second to rate this article by pressing how many stars out of five, or writing a comment that will take a few minutes.

Christian Counseling and its Role

I discovered psychology when I was a university freshman, many years ago. I loved everything about that first course, even the multiple choice tests and especially the section about counseling. Religion was not mentioned in the course, except in a negative way, but in my mind, I could see glimpses of how this newly-discovered field of study could have an impact on the church. I was surprised to discover that my old Sunday School teacher was not enamored with psychology like I was, but my interest grew as I took more courses and eventually decided to study further in graduate school.

In those days nobody talked about the integration of psychology and theology. Christian counseling was not a term that I heard often. My efforts to link my faith with my emerging career were guided by writers in the field of pastoral psychology. Most of these were more liberal theologically than I was but they wrote about ways in which psychological insights could help church-based counselors understand and better deal with issues like depression, interpersonal conflict, panic, and grief. The anti-psychology polemicists had not begun their angry campaigns against Christians in this field so I entered my profession never doubting that Christian counseling, guided by the Holy Spirit and informed by the Holy Scriptures, could be a powerful Christ-honoring tool for helping us do good to all people, especially to fellow believers (Gal. 6:10).

Over the years I have never wavered in my belief that Christian counseling has a lot to contribute to the church. I believe even more that the church makes a crucial contribution to the power and impact of Christian counseling.

*The Church Needs Christian Counselors*

Many Christian leaders still wonder why the church needs counselors. Is not good preaching and discipleship enough? Is not Christ sufficient to meet all human needs? Could not the efforts of dedicated church elders and other leaders eliminate the need for counselors? Do not the Scriptures tell us that believers have everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness? (2 Peter 1:3) Why would the church need counselors like us? We must begin our answer by looking to God's Word. Jesus was a teacher and a preacher, but he also was an effective counselor. He talked one-on-one to the woman at the well. He counseled Martha about her busy lifestyle, and talked tenderly to a woman caught in adultery. Late one night he helped Nicodemus with his spiritual struggles. Often Jesus talked with people privately, shared their hurts, gave encouragement, and guided as they coped with their problems. Sometimes he helped people find forgiveness. He asked questions, listened carefully, and often told stories that left people free to draw their own conclusions. When two of his followers were grappling with their grief and confusion on the road to Damascus, he spent time with them, listened to them, and showed them what Scripture said about their uncertainties.

In the early church and throughout the New Testament we see personal helping modeled and encouraged. Paul, for example, gave sensitive guidance and mentoring to Timothy. Barnabas was a consistent encourager. The epistles overflow with principles for living, guidelines for solving problems, and instructions for individuals with tension in their lives. More than 50 times we read one another passages. Bear one anothers burdens, we are told, encourage one another, care for one another, be kind to one another, serve one another. Of course these words are not directed to a special group known as counselors. These instructions are for all Christians, but they are teachings that encourage the type of help, support, and care giving that counselors have the calling, time, and special training to provide. There are those who say that counseling does not help. Sometimes it does not. But many people can tell encouraging stories about ways in which they have been changed by counselors who are trained to understand problems, teach communication skills, help people get along, and show how to deal with inner conflicts and pain left over from the past.

The best trained counselors recognize the influence of biology and appreciate the role that body chemicals play, sometimes creating havoc in Christian homes and individual lives. We need to remind church leaders that literally thousands of scientific research studies have examined the work of counselors and demonstrated their effectiveness. It is true, of course, that God does not need counselors for the advancement of his kingdom. Neither does he need teachers, physicians, preachers or anybody else.

In his sovereign wisdom, However, he uses mortals like us to accomplish his purposes. He could give us instant knowledge of all truth and could bestow wisdom like he gave Solomon; but he has chosen instead to work most often through godly teachers. He could heal all our diseases in an instant and sometimes he does, but for reasons that we do not fully comprehend, he brings most physical healing through the skillful hands of scientifically trained doctors and nurses. He could evangelize the world with the blink of an eye, but instead he has given this responsibility to evangelists, pastors, and faithful followers of Christ charged with the duty to go forth and make disciples. Instantaneously, God could wipe away all depression, anxiety, inner turmoil and interpersonal conflicts, but often he works through compassionate human beings with the gifts of encouragement, discernment, and counseling.

How then, do these counselors strengthen the church? First, counselors free pastors and other church leaders for the overall work of the ministry. Most pastors would agree: the demands of ministry gulp up large quantities of time and leave few hours for the concentrated care giving that counseling often demands. But no one person is called or equipped to do everything not even the pastor. Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 teach that members of the body have different spiritual gifts and responsibilities. Counselors use their gifts to help people, honor Christ, and strengthen Christians in their churches. Counselors also help pastors, missionaries, and other church leaders deal with difficulties in their own lives. Recently I attended a large conference on church leadership led by two prominent evangelical pastors. During their messages, both mentioned how Christian counselors had helped in times of special difficulty and rejuvenated their ministries as a result. One described how a counselor had helped when the demands of ministry almost destroyed his marriage. The other talked about the time he hit bottom, burned out emotionally, physically and spiritually.

With the support of his church board he took time off, got help from a Christian therapist, and learned to pace himself for the effective ministry that he has today. Where do church leaders go when they need help? What if a pastor or missionary is struggling with a failing marriage, uncontrolled kids, hostile criticism, deep feelings of failure, insecurity, bitterness, or lust? Sometimes the best counselor is the person who can be objective, available, and trained to deal with the unique problems that may be draining energy, vitality, and effectiveness from Gods chosen servants. Christian counselors also can (and should) give support and encouragement to their spiritual leaders. This is one of the things we can do best, but I wonder how many of us take the time to come alongside our pastors or other Christian leaders to give a little inspiration and encouragement. Even when they are not having problems in their own lives or with counselees, church leaders need to know that people like us care enough to say with our words and our presence, Well done...I am standing with you. Christian Counselors have their own unique healing ministries that can strengthen the Body of Christ. Counselors have Counselors use their gifts to help people, honor Christ, and strengthen Christians in their churches.

As part of their in-depth training, counselors learn special helping skills. They have knowledge about the nature of common emotional problems like depression or anxiety, familiarity with the impact of biology on behavior, and expertise in handling faltering marriages or dealing with interpersonal conflict. Some suggest that counselors take a paraclete role, being used by the Holy Spirit to come alongside struggling people to bring special comfort, guidance, encouragement, and sometimes confrontation.

*Christian Counselors Need the Church*

One of the greatest weaknesses in the development of professional Christian counseling has been our movement away from the church. This has happened for at least three reasons. First, attitudes in some churches have driven counselors away. When church leaders condemn professional counselors and urge church members to avoid counseling, is it any wonder that some have set up their practices away from the church? Second, the mental health professions have encouraged independence. These attitudes are now changing, but for many years secular organizations and professionals have tended to distrust religion, proclaim the Importance of professional objectivity, and warned against dual relationships such as those that might occur in church settings. Influenced by managed care companies, state licensing agencies, ethical guidelines and the desire to be as professional as possible, many Christian counselors have concluded that their practices should be completely separate from the church just as medical or legal practices are independent.

Third, sometimes the movement away from the church has come because of the attitudes of counselors themselves. Some of us have kept our counseling and our Christianity compartmentalized because we do not know how to bring the two together, do not want to bring them together, fear being accused of proselytizing, or do not want our beliefs to impact our therapy adversely. But Christian counselors ignore the church at their own peril. We are members of the body of Christ. Christian counselors need the church for encouragement, support, teaching, and worship. We cannot forsake meeting together with other believers (Heb. 10:25). For many years I attended church routinely but only within the past few years have I begun to fully appreciate the role that corporate worship plays in my life. I need it. When I am traveling and miss worship with other believers, I sense a vacuum in my life even if my personal devotional life is intact. Every Christian needs the church body even when our churches are not very worshipful. We need this more because of our kind of ministry. We are in the business of seeking to undo what the devil does best. Our work is a form of spiritual warfare. He is the father of lies; we seek to help people face the truth.

He divides people; we bring them together. He convinces them that life without God is best; we teach that life without God is futile and ultimately empty. He seeks to discourage us, distract us, sidetrack us, and prevent our effectiveness as counselors; we work with the knowledge that while the evil one is powerful in his activities, the one who is in us is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). We are helpless to do this kind of ministry in our own strength. We need the body of believers to hold us up in prayer and support. If there are none in your church who do this, you are lacking a key ingredient for your Christian counseling effectiveness. In addition, Christian counselors need the church for accountability. We live in a culture where independence and individual achievement are lauded, even in many churches. We acclaim super-star pastors and applaud our heroes in sports, music, and even the Christian counseling profession. I have seen it up close in the Christian publishing industry. Publishers, readers, and talk show hosts tell writers how wonderful they are and in time these authors begin to believe their own press reports. Accountability goes out the door along with humility. Whether or not we are successful or famous, each of us needs Christian brothers and sisters to stand alongside us, challenge us, and keep us accountable for the ways in which we live our lives, care for our marriage, pare not our kids, spend our money, deal with our own sexuality, and relate to our

clients.

Christian counselors also need the church for the support and spiritual encouragement of our clients. I know a counselor who makes three requirements for all of his counselees. They need to see him for their weekly counseling sessions, be involved in some kind of small group, and attend at least one worship service a week. My friend believes that his counseling is more effective and long lasting when his clients are anchored in a local church. For some counselors this may not be feasible, but the churches impact for good in the lives of clients cannot be overemphasized. Here is therapist directory for your help.

*Winds of Change*

Our profession has come a long way since I took the freshman psychology course that eventually got me into Christian counseling. We still have a long way to go but the winds of change are blowing. Christians are recognizing that Christian counselors do serve a purpose especially when problems arise that common sense care giving does not seem to help. Counselors, in turn, are realizing that we need the church, desperately. Churches and counselors are in partnership like never before. This is the way it should be. I suspect this is Gods way.

Wilma Johannsen

Recent conversation with a Blogger....

In a recent blog twist one reader left the following comments:

"The passion of a woman leader is like none other, it’s like that ministry becomes her child and the well-being of the ministry is on her heart. The only thing I would say is to make sure there is a balance, that yes the ministry is yours to grow & care for but not yours to own, it’s yours to serve and God’s to own".

Are we squeezing the life out of ministry so others can not share in and benefit from what God has placed upon us to do in service? We must be strong in service and not lose focus on why we perform in ministry in the first place...which is simply God's call to benefit others! Allow God to be exalted in ministry and all we do.

Affirming Women's Call to Lead | Christian Leadership Alliance

Affirming Women's Call to Lead | Christian Leadership Alliance

A woman's Call to Lead in ministry is rewarding and challenging at the same time. How do women in these positions answer the questions necessary to move forward with such a task?