The Dilemmas of Being a Woman...and Christian

In today's lifestyle there are several reasons why women are either single by choice, single again or widowed at a young age. Many of these women are struggling to live a Christian life and they have the forces of the world beating them down daily. Economics make up a large portion of problems for single parents. Loneliness is faced daily. Work obligations enter into the lives of the parent and the children and there never seems to be enough hours in the day. Then there is the ever problem of living a life where God calls for purity in our life in all areas.
The single life gives us a unique time and opportunity to work on our own personal self, develop a variety of relationships and a variety of ways that we can serve in the church. However, single women particularly, face a "stigma" in the church. Since "people will be people"; this will likely never change. Single women must constantly take care of their behavior, their dress, their associations and every word that is spoken from their mouth if they are to live a separated life and maintain respectability. God's word tells us that a good reputation is worth more than fine jewels. It is priceless yet it is constant maintenance and dedication to achieve.
Many churches offer their own single groups for Sunday School and fellowship. The success of these groups in accomplishing the job of ministering and discipleship of the single woman is often the success or failure of a godly leader. Often it is difficult to find such a leader, due to the complications and time that a singles ministry requires. Ideally a good group is headed by an older married couple who stand together in responsibility of the singles.
Christian women must often stand alone in the church, maintaining a reputation of a godly life. "Dating around", friendships with married men and not having a quiet spirit can be deadly to the reputation of a single Christian woman.
Our culture often puts the single Christian woman in the fire. However, single or married, we all have the same heavenly Father, the same offer of salvation and the same love from Jesus.
The dedication of ourselves to children and family, if they are in a woman's life is a wonderful basic. The dedication of a Christian woman to a ministry for God will fulfill and sustain as He is molding the woman's life for the future.
Any friendship or dating relationship must be viewed as a possible potential mate and special care must be taken to slowly build and nurture it. Both parties must first have their eyes on the Lord and die to self as far as temptations or the desire to move ahead too quickly.
There are many challenges and victories to the life of a single Christian woman. The opportunity for growth can reach mountain-top peak level or it can bring you into a valley so deep you are tempted to just follow the world and give it up. A godly life is worth the struggle and will be the example for your children as they struggle in a broken family. It is a matter of giving and trusting in God to deliver you up to that mountain-top where the rewards will be worth it

Single, Marriage & Ministry....Whoa

You are single and you have never been married, and God has a calling on your life for full time service to Him. You have a zeal for God and you only want a lady that has a zeal like yours to serve God. In essence you want a lady to partner you with a great anointing of God on her life also. This article is written for you. Enjoy reading and if you agree pray the prayer and write a comment on the article.

**TIP 1** Be honest with her and yourself

A lady with an anointing on her life for full time ministry is a person that treasures honesty and she is love with Jesus, someone that NEVER lies to her. A lady needs a husband that can lead her house and be the head, and if you are not up to the task it is best that you don't try and pretend that you are!

You can kid yourself and think that you are a spiritual person, but there were many spiritual people when Jesus walked the earth also, even New Age people are a lot more spiritual then many Christians.

If you are sold out to Jesus and the will of God, then by all means seek the hand of a lady with a calling on her life.

**TIP 2** Be Sold out For God's Will in Your Life

Don't kid yourself or God. To win the heart of a lady called by God, you and her visions for your future should be the same. If God has been calling you to go to Africa for years you should be pursuing that for God. You should not be searching for a lady who also has a calling to Africa on her life.

This is part of being honest with yourself and with her. In some of the very first conversations with a potential lady you should not be afraid of mentioning that God is calling you to Africa.

You should take the lead when you talk about where you are called. You will know the "right" lady when as you mention this, she is quick to tell you that she has also had a calling to go there also.

Paul said it is best that a man does not marry and therefore devote all of his time and resources to God. I agree, many men spend all of their earnings on a wife and family, and these men could have done a lot more for God if they had remained single.

Be prepared to go to Africa without a wife man of God! Do firstly what God wants you to do. Seek first the Kingdom of God and He might bless you with a helpmate.

The Lord God is a jealous God. He would rather you be single then for you to have a wife that hinders you from completely doing the will of God. God does not favor men and women that make an idol out of their partners.

A woman that has been called by God for full time ministry will see this zeal on your life and your passion too serve the King of Kings and this will attract her more then any romantic words spoken by you could!

**TIP 3** Make it clear that you want to serve God first in your marriage

Living in Africa can mean that you don't have the electricity of the West and toasters, jugs, electric blankets and all manner of luxuries of the West. To have a wife with a calling on her life fall in love with you means that you will serve God, no matter how much you have to go without.

Many people don't serve God in their life because the world is so attractive with its high wages and all that they can buy. But to have the servant heart of Jesus you might not be a person that puts much stock in the goods of the world and the life in Africa would not be such a huge cost for serving God for you.

Many women want to serve BOTH God and their families. But a precious women of God with a great calling on her life will care little for the things of the world and the luxury of the West. They will already be the women that Jesus and the Father speak to tenderly and you might find that they are quite old and have been waiting patiently for the man of God that has been promised to them so many years ago.

They won't be married once and wanting to have a second marriage with you.

***Mark 10:11-12 (New International Version)

11He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." No matter what the world says, second marriages are adultery. So the woman called by God won't have been married once and now want to marry you.

No, the women called by God might even be in her forties or older, yet she would have always been waiting for a man of God. A woman called of God would not have settled for a lesser man of God to starve off her loneliness as Jesus would have been her partner for years.

No matter how many gifts a woman of God might have, if she has been married once and her ex husband is still living; she is not the woman for you. You have to be strong and prove you will serve God first and not her want for you.

**TIP 4** Be patient when it comes to God's will in your life.

Many people tend to march ahead of God and move and do things that the Spirit has not asked them to do. Having a website might be a popular thing to have if you are in ministry. But, you must not make a website UNTIL the Spirit of God tells you to move and do that.

Jesus only did what His Father told Him to do through the Holy Spirit. You also need to learn only to move when the Spirit calls you to move.

This may be very important when it comes to asking a lady out on a date. A woman called of God might have noticed you, but she may need more evidence that you are the right sort of guy for her.

If you are interested in a woman with an anointing by God, be patient until the Spirit gives you the go ahead to ask her out.

This applies to nearly all your decisions that you make and most certainly the big decisions. It is vital that you let patience have its perfect work in you. Jesus could have started to preach when he was 14 years of age, but he waited till He was 30 years of age, the minimum age of a Rabbi.

As a man of God, it is a tremendous responsibility to be called by God to serve Him full time and double as much responsibility for you to marry a woman with an anointing by God.

It is vital therefore, that you learn to move as the Spirit of God moves. If revival breaks out, you might want to go and check it out, but you must first consult the Spirit of God, as to if you can, and when you should go.

The Holy Spirit might want you to start another fire at the same time from your own ministry as the same angel that came to the first revival comes over and anoints you.

A woman that has waited many years for the husband that the Lord of Hosts has destined for her does not want to be disappointed with you with you making a financial commitment or some other decision "without" the Holy Spirit giving you the go ahead.

God does some of his greatest works through men and woman of God that have waited twenty or more years for their visions coming into being. There is just such a special anointing reserved for people willing to go through the refiner's fire and storms of life for many years before God raises them up into major ministry.

Only a patient man will win the heart of a very patient woman of God. An anointed woman isn't looking for clever talk; she is looking for well developed fruit in your life. Sure, she may "feel" the anointing when you preach or "feel" the anointing on what you write, but many men have the anointing and lack the fruit to sustain the sort of calling she has on her life.

Can I pray for you:

Father of Lights:

We come to you today and seek Your Will in our life when it comes to marriage. Father give us the patience to seek only your best and to do only Your Will. Lord lead us more and more by You Holy Spirit. Teach us only to move when we see You Moving. Teach us to become leaders and not followers. Lord anoint us to break new ground for you and bring into our life the fruits of the Spirit through the storms of life. Lord give us the wisdom to read and re- read this teaching so that we know what we need to do to win the right anointed woman to be our partner.

Father, anoint us, give us the power to do Your Will, lead us by Your Spirit and keep us learning the things that we need to know to do Your will in our life. Keep us away from distractions and keep us from touching those things that are not pleasing to You. Teach us from every medium we experience, and mentor us through the voice of the Good Shepherd and Teach us the Word of God from the Teacher, the Holy Spirit.

Give us the endurance to weather the storms of life and keep us from sin to the appointed day that we marry the lady for us.

In Jesus name we ask

Amen

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