Forgive and Forget

Recently, more like a year and a half ago, I formed a grudge on another girl. And yes, it was over a boy. Don't pre-judge me. I am not usually the grudge-holder type. This was a special exception though. So after having a grudge for the last year or so, I have officially decided that I need to let it go. It has taken me way longer than ever to forgive and forget but I am working on it now. Forgiving people is really important. I have distant relatives that all fought over a piece of land that was left to them and none of the siblings speak anymore. It is a really sad story and it just caused the family to break apart. Being unforgiving only causes a life of regret. So forgive your friends and your enemies. Here are some tips!


Realize the magnitude
One person who has done you wrong is such a small, minuscule, and tiny thing. Is one person really worth all of the fuss? There are so many other important things in your life to worry about. Seriously though, if you are so caught up with this grudge you are holding, you may need to rethink your priorities. The magnitude of this grudge should be microscopic compared to what else is happening in this world.


Decide now
Make a solid decision. Don't be wishy washy or think that you will forgive them only if they're nice to you. Make a decision and stick to it. Don't try and back out half way through the process. Make sure you make a conscious decision. If you need to you can tell a friend or write it down but you don't have to.


Be nice
Nice is such a broad and overused word but it is effective in this case. BE NICE to the person who wronged you. I know it's hard but in order to forgive them you must treat them like a human being, which they are. I know it's hard to believe because to you, they are the scum of the earth. Remember that they are a person with feelings also. I write the word “Nice” on my hand every day to remind me to be nice to people. If it works for me, it can work for you.


It's in the past
Remember that what happened is in the past. It already happened and there is not much you can do about it anymore. If you realize this, it will be a lot easier to forgive. The Amish know how to do this. After a man named Charles Roberts shot five of their children, an amish family immediately forgave him. “They not only used words, but also acts of forgiveness, attending Roberts' funeral and setting aside some of the approximately $4 million they received from well-wishers as a gift for the Roberts family, with a special concern for the shooter's children.” This Amish family forgave him instantly because they knew it was more important to do that than to hold a grudge.

If someone like your room mate or your teacher or your family member does something that has offended you, forgive them. It saves a lot of time and energy and will help you live without regrets.


About the Author
Meagan Hollman is a writer for MyCollegesandCareers.com. My Colleges and Careers helps people determine if an online education is right for them and helps them understand which courses are available through accredited online colleges to help them reach their goals.

By Golly...Don't Give UP!!

In these tough economic times many churches and ministries are tempted to scale back on planning events so that it won't put any added burden on women who are struggling to make ends meet. The problem is that this is exactly the time when we need to gather for fellowship and encouragement. Here is a "Top 10" list that can help women's leaders plan more effective events that are perfect for this tough economy.
1. Use your own members: Organize an event that uses your own members as the leaders. You can find different women who have specialties and have them lead small groups or you may have someone who would be able to teach a large group time. Look around and see who has a story to tell that others can relate to and go from there. You may want to gather several women and hold a panel discussion on a specific topic. be creative and allow God to direct you to the right women.
2. Reinvent the covered dish: Most often the cost of an event is largely tied up in the food. Keep costs down by either asking everyone to bring a dish to share or enlist a team of women to organize the different dishes you want to offer and let them designate who brings what. You could decide on a theme and plan the food around that.

3. Network with Other Churches: Find some other churches in your area and share or trade Bible Study materials with them. Your church could buy one study and theirs a different one then after you finish, trade studies.
4. Plan 1 night events: Schedule your next event on an evening so that your costs can stay low. You even start a little later so that everyone has dinner before arriving then offers a dessert fellowship after the program.
5. Serve Others: Remember that if the economic crisis has hit you hard then it has devastated many others. Organize your women to focus on helping others. Service projects are a great way to build strong bonds and show people the love of Jesus in a practical way. The bonus is that your struggles tend to diminish in the face of what others may be dealing with.
6. Start a Support Group: Offer the opportunity for women who have lost their jobs or whose husbands have lost their jobs to gather for support and encouragement. Let your community know it is available and you may be surprised at the outreach it can become.
7. Get Out of the Church: Take your Bible Studies out of the church and hold them in different homes in the community so that people don't have to spend much time or money on gas to be involved.
8. Decorate for Less: Women's events always have the issue of decorating. Go old school and use things you already have at the church or enlist different women to hostess each table and make decorating her table part of her duties.
9. Simplicity and Relevance: Don't ignore the issues that people are dealing with but rather plan an event to specifically address them. Make it a brown bag night or just very simple in all details. Offer topics such as how to dress, dine, and decorate on a budget. Consider inviting a financial specialist to speak on practical advice in troubling times.
10. See the big Picture: Plan your events to coincide with other large gatherings like just after church or when the youth or children are already doing something. Take the stress off of women who are worried about being all things to all people and who feel guilty for taking time out for themselves.
These are just a few ideas. Whatever you decide to do, don't give up on ministry. Women need encouragement and support more now than ever before.

Single, Marriage & Ministry....Whoa

You are single and you have never been married, and God has a calling on your life for full time service to Him. You have a zeal for God and you only want a lady that has a zeal like yours to serve God. In essence you want a lady to partner you with a great anointing of God on her life also. This article is written for you. Enjoy reading and if you agree pray the prayer and write a comment on the article.

**TIP 1** Be honest with her and yourself

A lady with an anointing on her life for full time ministry is a person that treasures honesty and she is love with Jesus, someone that NEVER lies to her. A lady needs a husband that can lead her house and be the head, and if you are not up to the task it is best that you don't try and pretend that you are!

You can kid yourself and think that you are a spiritual person, but there were many spiritual people when Jesus walked the earth also, even New Age people are a lot more spiritual then many Christians.

If you are sold out to Jesus and the will of God, then by all means seek the hand of a lady with a calling on her life.

**TIP 2** Be Sold out For God's Will in Your Life

Don't kid yourself or God. To win the heart of a lady called by God, you and her visions for your future should be the same. If God has been calling you to go to Africa for years you should be pursuing that for God. You should not be searching for a lady who also has a calling to Africa on her life.

This is part of being honest with yourself and with her. In some of the very first conversations with a potential lady you should not be afraid of mentioning that God is calling you to Africa.

You should take the lead when you talk about where you are called. You will know the "right" lady when as you mention this, she is quick to tell you that she has also had a calling to go there also.

Paul said it is best that a man does not marry and therefore devote all of his time and resources to God. I agree, many men spend all of their earnings on a wife and family, and these men could have done a lot more for God if they had remained single.

Be prepared to go to Africa without a wife man of God! Do firstly what God wants you to do. Seek first the Kingdom of God and He might bless you with a helpmate.

The Lord God is a jealous God. He would rather you be single then for you to have a wife that hinders you from completely doing the will of God. God does not favor men and women that make an idol out of their partners.

A woman that has been called by God for full time ministry will see this zeal on your life and your passion too serve the King of Kings and this will attract her more then any romantic words spoken by you could!

**TIP 3** Make it clear that you want to serve God first in your marriage

Living in Africa can mean that you don't have the electricity of the West and toasters, jugs, electric blankets and all manner of luxuries of the West. To have a wife with a calling on her life fall in love with you means that you will serve God, no matter how much you have to go without.

Many people don't serve God in their life because the world is so attractive with its high wages and all that they can buy. But to have the servant heart of Jesus you might not be a person that puts much stock in the goods of the world and the life in Africa would not be such a huge cost for serving God for you.

Many women want to serve BOTH God and their families. But a precious women of God with a great calling on her life will care little for the things of the world and the luxury of the West. They will already be the women that Jesus and the Father speak to tenderly and you might find that they are quite old and have been waiting patiently for the man of God that has been promised to them so many years ago.

They won't be married once and wanting to have a second marriage with you.

***Mark 10:11-12 (New International Version)

11He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." No matter what the world says, second marriages are adultery. So the woman called by God won't have been married once and now want to marry you.

No, the women called by God might even be in her forties or older, yet she would have always been waiting for a man of God. A woman called of God would not have settled for a lesser man of God to starve off her loneliness as Jesus would have been her partner for years.

No matter how many gifts a woman of God might have, if she has been married once and her ex husband is still living; she is not the woman for you. You have to be strong and prove you will serve God first and not her want for you.

**TIP 4** Be patient when it comes to God's will in your life.

Many people tend to march ahead of God and move and do things that the Spirit has not asked them to do. Having a website might be a popular thing to have if you are in ministry. But, you must not make a website UNTIL the Spirit of God tells you to move and do that.

Jesus only did what His Father told Him to do through the Holy Spirit. You also need to learn only to move when the Spirit calls you to move.

This may be very important when it comes to asking a lady out on a date. A woman called of God might have noticed you, but she may need more evidence that you are the right sort of guy for her.

If you are interested in a woman with an anointing by God, be patient until the Spirit gives you the go ahead to ask her out.

This applies to nearly all your decisions that you make and most certainly the big decisions. It is vital that you let patience have its perfect work in you. Jesus could have started to preach when he was 14 years of age, but he waited till He was 30 years of age, the minimum age of a Rabbi.

As a man of God, it is a tremendous responsibility to be called by God to serve Him full time and double as much responsibility for you to marry a woman with an anointing by God.

It is vital therefore, that you learn to move as the Spirit of God moves. If revival breaks out, you might want to go and check it out, but you must first consult the Spirit of God, as to if you can, and when you should go.

The Holy Spirit might want you to start another fire at the same time from your own ministry as the same angel that came to the first revival comes over and anoints you.

A woman that has waited many years for the husband that the Lord of Hosts has destined for her does not want to be disappointed with you with you making a financial commitment or some other decision "without" the Holy Spirit giving you the go ahead.

God does some of his greatest works through men and woman of God that have waited twenty or more years for their visions coming into being. There is just such a special anointing reserved for people willing to go through the refiner's fire and storms of life for many years before God raises them up into major ministry.

Only a patient man will win the heart of a very patient woman of God. An anointed woman isn't looking for clever talk; she is looking for well developed fruit in your life. Sure, she may "feel" the anointing when you preach or "feel" the anointing on what you write, but many men have the anointing and lack the fruit to sustain the sort of calling she has on her life.

Can I pray for you:

Father of Lights:

We come to you today and seek Your Will in our life when it comes to marriage. Father give us the patience to seek only your best and to do only Your Will. Lord lead us more and more by You Holy Spirit. Teach us only to move when we see You Moving. Teach us to become leaders and not followers. Lord anoint us to break new ground for you and bring into our life the fruits of the Spirit through the storms of life. Lord give us the wisdom to read and re- read this teaching so that we know what we need to do to win the right anointed woman to be our partner.

Father, anoint us, give us the power to do Your Will, lead us by Your Spirit and keep us learning the things that we need to know to do Your will in our life. Keep us away from distractions and keep us from touching those things that are not pleasing to You. Teach us from every medium we experience, and mentor us through the voice of the Good Shepherd and Teach us the Word of God from the Teacher, the Holy Spirit.

Give us the endurance to weather the storms of life and keep us from sin to the appointed day that we marry the lady for us.

In Jesus name we ask

Amen

If you have prayed the prayer take a second to rate this article by pressing how many stars out of five, or writing a comment that will take a few minutes.